worst of the worst

there's really nothing i hate more than hospitals. i've had more than my share of them, and time in them. to be honest, a major malady can be something of a nice vacation from the woes of real life. some of the nurses aren't to bad either.

but overall, they are really the worst. i mean, let's get past the whole notion of being sick or hurt or in pain. we all know that sucks, but home can be just as crappy if that's the case.

fear is the thing to fear. something like that's been said before, but it's true. hospitals are scary places when you think might never leave it. there aren't many worse feelings than worrying whether that orange jello and chicken broth was a last meal. still that's a real concern, and not the subject of my usual complaints so let's get to the fun superficial problems shall we?

i've already started: the food. jello is a staple. i know it's easy on the stomach, essentially a solid liquid. can't much hurt ya, so they dish it out left and right to everyone from the appendectomies to the colonoscopies. and that's when things really get bad.

hospital food is essentially airplane food, but without the exciting destination at the end. it's rubbish.

then there's the smell of these places. everything is sterile. everything smells sterile. it's odd, it's unnatural, and it makes people uneasy. i'm all for cleanliness, but i'd rather huff lysol and pretend there's a forest in the hallway that breath in that germless air.

another problem: gift shops. if you want overpriced hummels and badly refrigerated flower arrangements, this is the place. otherwise, stay outta there. no one needs to buy candy bars for $2.99.

that just brings me back to food. but in the cafeteria. i've already described the crap they give the sick and dying. you think they dish out anything nicer to the people without problems? yeah, i didn't think so.

what else bothers me about hospitals? cramped parking structures, snooty doctors, labrynthian lobbies, overcrowded elevators, uneducated desk staff, unsympathetic medical staff, and germs around every corner even after the hose down in chemical disinfectant - for starters anyway...

so you can see how apt the title of this post really is. there's a lot i don't like, and there's a lot that i hate. and there'll be a lot more complaining from now on. but all in all, hospitals are the bad of the bad, the worse of the worse, and the worst damn thing many of us will have to face.